This Drifting Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the TV offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was hard to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was like reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit exploits as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.